It's not easy to get my paws on this contraption nowadays. Seems like My Lady is holding it in her lap day and night. Well, now that I have a chance, let me tell you about my troubles.
I have a problem with My Lady. She’s nice enough, in general––well actually, I like her a lot, but personally I think she’s a little dumb.
Here I am, the best guard dog she’s ever had, and she keeps me on this, bark ,bark, bark, leash. Sorry about the cussing, but I get a little exasperated at times.
Last week, for example, I was at my window lookout, and the neighbor’s big fat cat jumped up in the birdbath right outside my window. I barked and barked, but all My Lady did, was pat me a little and went back to this thing she calls a laptop, and didn’t let me out to clear the yard of this trespasser.
Today I was outside––on a long leash, of course––there was a deer coming out of the brush, down close to my rock wall. Well, of course, I didn’t want that thing coming up in my yard, so I barked a warning, but all it did was waggled those big ears and kept walking.
What happened next is hard to believe. Despite my warning, deer kept strolling out of that brush, until there were six of those big-eared dummies. Well, I barked and barked, but all they did was flop those ears a few times and look in my direction. They must not see very well, because I know if they’d seen who was on guard, they’d turned tail and left in a hurry.
Well, I barked until I was hoarse, and those critters finally decided to leave, but not in the big leaps I would have preferred.
After they were gone, my Lady unhooked my leash. Now she unleashes me? Kinda dumb, wouldn’t you agree? I could’ve saved myself a lot of barking, if she’d just wake up to the real world, and let me tend to things.
It makes a fellow want to retire from this watchdog business.