THE FRUITCAKE COMPETITION
It was two months before Christmas and the day had arrived when two bakers in neighboring towns were to submit to a gathering of purchasers, samples of their highly advertised fruitcakes. Each claimed their concoction was the best and kept its ingredients a closely guarded secret.
The two bakers had prepared their fruit cakes a month before, dousing them with enough of their own special mixture of liquor to assure none of their secret ingredients could be identified.
The baker from Podunk was satisfied that his blend of fruits and nuts had enough old-fashioned ingredients to appeal to the nostalgic memories of the prospective purchasers, and assure him of a satisfying contract.
The Bugscuffle baker had developed an unusual recipe that had a few closely guarded secret ingredients he felt sure would make him the winner.
With a great amount of fan-fare, the two competing bakers set their cakes on stage for all to view. They were beauties and their fruity aromas filled the room. The rules of the contest called for the bakers withdrawal from the premises and impartial persons had been chosen to serve a slice of each cake to the would-be purchasers.
The two bakers waited anxiously for the announcement of a winner. Instead, the following morning’s news reported an unusual number of persons complaining of extreme nausea had been admitted to the local hospitals, and that health authorities were trying to pinpoint the cause.
After an investigation of several weeks, including the testing of all the ingredients used by the bakers in their fruitcakes, it was determined that the cause of the illnesses was a few aged nuts in the Podunk baker’s cakes, combined with the special concoction from a bottle labeled malarkey, which had been poured liberally over the Bugscuffle baker’s cakes.
Although the incident received considerable publicity for a few days, the furor soon died away and nobody noticed that a grandmother in a small nearby community had become exceedingly busy as a supplier of fruitcakes to the desperate suppliers who were facing a nationwide shortage of this staple of the holiday season.
The grandmother had guaranteed there would be no malarkey or old stale nuts in her products.
VOTING BEGINS TUESDAY. SORT THROUGH ALL THAT HAS BEEN DISHED OUT IN THIS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN –DECIDE WHAT IS A BUNCH OF MALARKEY AND WHAT A FEW NUT CASES, HAVE SAID, AND MAKE A VERY CAREFUL CHOICE.
YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS UPON IT.