.These have been around for years, but they're worth reading again.
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts
tomorrow.
2. Money
will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag
his tail.
3. If you
don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any
sense at all.
4. Seat
belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good
time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come
it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the
dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out
all night?
7. Business
conventions are important because they demonstrate how
many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it
that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone
else looks?
9. Scratch a
cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one
has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants
to buy a car.
11. There
are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There
are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at
4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.
13. No one
ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
** 14. I've
reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be
careful about reading the fine print--there's no way you're
going to like it.
16. The
trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
size bucket.
17. Do you
realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of
old ladies running around with tattoos?
18. Money
can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.
19. After
60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're
probably dead.
20. Always
be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . .
. and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life
isn't tied with a bow -- but it's still a gift.
REMEMBER....
"POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME
REASON."
